Lately I’ve been reading a lot of stuff on the interweb about bitchy resting face. It seems like people with bitchy resting face suffer more than those with other types of faces.
I don’t have bitchy resting face. Quite the opposite. My face in repose looks happy. Content. Friendly. Warm. I have happy resting face.
There are advantages to happy resting face. People think you are nice. Approachable. Likeable. Even if you are not these things you give the impression that you are.
Except that looking happy when you are not is not always a great thing.
Let me explain.
1) People think you are flirting when you are not.
“You were cracking on to me.”
No. I. Wasn’t. It’s just my face. It looks like I fancy you. I probably don’t even like you very much.
2) It can be hard to communicate your dissatisfaction to others.
People don’t take your unhappiness seriously because your face indicates that you are ok with what is happening, no matter how much your words try to convince them otherwise. This covers a range of issues from disciplining children to complaining about poor service in a shop or restaurant.
3) People think you know the secret of happiness.
“How do you stay so happy?”
I don’t! I don’t know anything more about happiness than you do.
4) No one is scared of you because your happy face is so unscary.
Refer back to point 1 and 2. And forward to point 5.
5) A. People think you want to talk to them.
At parties, in public. People you know, random strangers. Crazy people, very young people, very old people. The person sitting next to you on an aeroplane. Your lovely, smiley face encourages people to tell you things. That’s ok except sometimes you don’t feel like chatting.
Perhaps a sign would help. Or a t-shirt. “I may look friendly but I really don’t feel like talking to you.”
B. Charity collectors and pamphlet people… they ALWAYS approach you.
You can be a part of a huge crowd, visibly rushing, your hands full and your head down… and they will make a bee-line straight for you. Next thing you know you’re making monthly contributions deducted straight from your bank account. Or else you feel terrible because you turned them away and they looked so surprised because your response didn’t fit with you face. “No I can’t make a donation. I just look like a soft touch because I have happy resting face.”
6) If you are on a bus full of people sitting next to empty seats, the next person to get on will choose to sit next to you.
Your sweet, friendly face makes them feel so much more welcome than everyone else’s normal, hostile-to-anyone-who-takes-the-seat-next-to-mine faces.
So next time I seem pleased to see you, remember, it might just be my happy resting face.